We Will Glorify the King of Kings!!

This is one of my favorite praise songs!!!

We will glorify the King of kings
We will glorify the Lamb
We will glorify the Lord of lords
Who is the great I Am

He is Lord of heaven Lord of earth
He is Lord of all who live
He is Lord above the universe
All praise to Him we give

Hallelujah to the King of kings
Hallelujah to the Lamb
Hallelujah to the Lord of lords
Who is the great I am

I've been struck by the continual focus on glorifying God in the circles I enter lately. From the sermons to Bible studies, Bible class, and even personal discussions with friends. I love this thought presented to me lately about one of the main purposes of marriage is to glorify God. What a beautiful, and certainly accurate thought. God describes the marriage relationship as one like Christ is to the church. Christ is the head, the church is His bride. Christ lay down His life for the Church, the Church is to honor and serve Him, Christ demonstrated his leadership through serving His people.

A dear friend of mine is getting married in less than a month. Her sister is throwing a shower for her tonight. Instead of a card, I got her a little notebook to fill with some thoughts I've had about marriage in the last year and two months. I didn't want to overwhelm her with too much personal info, I didn't want to over-tell her anything she might already have figured out, but I did want to encourage and build her up, fill her mind with the happy exciting thoughts about marriage. Since this friend doesn't read this blog, I'll share here what I wrote:

"Without my saying so - you know you're about to enter a beautiful life journey! This is such a wonderful time of life; to enjoy being engaged, that the one you love loves you back and has chosen you for his bride! I pray this will be a wonderfully enjoyable season for you!

As women we have the wonderful, God-designed gift to live out our full potential as nurturers, care givers to those we love, and serve our spouse when the time comes and we're chosen and then we choose them back!

(skipping some stuff) Specific thoughts:

1. Marriage is one of the first, and best illustrations we have of how our relationship with God should look. What right have we to demand our husbands spend quality time with us and praise us, then hold it against them when they don't; when God is so patient and merciful with us when we don't show as much consideration to Him?

2. A Godly marriage is one that glorifies God. Our marriage is the biggest, greatest part of our lives in which we have the opportunity to demonstrate and live out our Christian walk.

3. Your love for one another can grow deeper and more exciting every day if you each make the effort and choose to invest in one another.

4. Despite what some even in the church will say (I've even heard this very thought recently) sex is not the greatest (as in biggest) part of marriage, it is an exciting, wonderful, beautiful part of marriage, but as our premarital counselors so wonderfully put it - "You have to work to continually find things in common, things you enjoy about one another, things that make you fall in love with one another; because there will come a time when one or both of you is unable to fill that role and you're going to need something stronger than sex to keep you together, and happily!"

5. On the note of sex, you may well know, not everyone gets a physically flawless first, or first several times. The beauty of this is you have each other, you're married, you're in love, you can figure this out together! You have the rest of your lives to figure each other out and grow into each other's perfect lover! Keep patience, humor, and love alive!

6. I believe you already have this mindset, however I'll share any way - Romance does not need to mean the perfect candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, it can be any purposeful, set aside moment, or activity shared where its just the two of you enjoying each other away from distractions. There has been a time when I had a specific hope/wish for something from  David and it wasn't quite turning out for us, however when I realized how hard he was trying, I decided to give a silent prayer to God asking for a heart to love my husband, enjoy his efforts, and show him appreciation. It was one of our most romantic and fun times together!

7. Seven, the holy number! I think I'll end on this one ;-)

It's amazing what prayer can do for your relationship! Pray together, pray on your own. Pray for specific areas in your relationship, pray for others, pray for your future life decisions together. Opening yourself up to reflection in prayer opens you up to see what God does in your own life and the lives of others. Its such an amazing experience; it makes you a better, stronger spouse, and a better, stronger Christian! David and I both have been at times overwhelmed by how much God has done over the months, and even sometimes very quickly. Just Pray!

Ok... there is one more, but we'll just call it a bonus!!

*** David and I have both thought this a very important truth to remember: Ultimately, God judges you for your individual walk with Him. What this means in marriage - You are each given a God-designed, and God-defined role; one as a husband and one as a wife. Regardless of what (your husband's name here) is doing in his role, regardless of what you're doing in your role, you're each still responsible for fulfilling your roles to the other in the sight of God!!

(Ended on personal congratulatory comments)"

And now: Pictures of some "life lately" ;-)

Just had to let you know... My innie is now definitely an outie ;-)

 On the 4th of July (was that really 2.5 weeks ago???) David had worked a 12 the night before. I decided I wanted to do something fun in the morning while he slept. Fortunately I had some girlfriends who were also free! We headed to panera then TJ Maxx, then did some thrifting! This is what I wore: non-maternity top/Charlotte ruse; brown bangle/Charlotte ruse; yellow bracelet/Dots; maternity shorts/Motherhood
I love that I can still wear clothes I bought when I was 20, even though my body is radically different 5 years later with the whole marriage and pregnancy and not working out like a body-obsessed 20-something... ;-)

When I got home from girl-time, David and I got ready to go! He looks so handsome! I thought we needed some updated prego-pix together, and it was a holiday! What he wore: button down/tony hawk line at Kohls; denim/urban pipeline at Kohls; sneaks/Osiris from a shoe discount store

What I wore: dress/thrifted that day! Bracelet/gifted from friend from a World Market

 David wanted the serious picture first, I was ready for a nice picture so he made a goofy face! For our last picture he said he would be nice and smile, but I decided it was my turn to be goofy! Who loves how my complexion glows like casper??? Especially in a white dress! I just love white sun dresses though... :-)

Before Bible study we wanted to grab dinner. I had my palette set for some yummy Mexican food from this place he took me to last 4th, however, this time they happened to be closed :-( We must have gone on the third last year. We ended up at a Logan's which neither of us particularly care for, but we were short on time. I do like a good burger any way, and sweet potato fries are YUM YUM!!!

AWWW My handsome hubby! I love him!

 I don't know what it is about pix like this but I get so embarrassed/shy when David decides its my turn...

  We

We FINALLY got to see fireworks, TOGETHER!!!! I had always wanted to watch fireworks with someone I was in love with, it had never happened before. I LOVE fireworks and had not even seen them on my own since 2010. Last year we picked spending time with friends over fireworks, but this year we made it! Even if we did end up in a random parking lot directly behind a telephone pole ;-) This is only my 3rd year since I was 16 that I had been off for 4th of July. Every year from 16 to 21 I always worked on the holiday :-( NO more though!

This is after I assembled the play mat... It is finished now, and I made a baby hat to match with the leftover yarn. I'll get those pix another time ;-)

 These are the latest books I've added to my son's curriculum! I love how Sams Club actually has so many academic resources! And BOB books!!!! I learned to read with BOB books!!!

This is your update! Have a wonderful weekend!!! OH I'M SOOO glad its the weekend!!!

Best,

M~

Reflections on Hubby and Our Marriage

There are several other posts I've thought of doing, and a few updates which would be fun to do, however this post has stayed on my mind for awhile. I need to give this man some props and let out some repressed thoughts from the marriage and family class at church :-)

I love this shot of David. This captures so many things I love about him and us. First and most importantly, he is taking the spiritual leadership of our family. Second, he is making a point to read with me, that makes me feel special! Third, we cooked this meal together... he made those biscuits from scratch, all by himself, first time using my recipe and he did them better than me! Fourth, I love sitting down at the table to eat with him. A lot of times its easy on the weekend to have take out, flop down on the couch in front of a movie or a couple episodes of "24" (the current "our" show we're watching on netflix), but I never want to lose sight of the value of sitting across from each other, sharing a meal and sharing quality time without distractions!

David has done so much for me through this pregnancy. He takes his role as "dad to be" and husband seriously. He works crazy overtime and still makes time to help with dishes, laundry, food, and waiting on me when I'm feeling crummy. There has been a lot of me feeling crummy through this pregnancy! He's still so excited about meeting his son, us being a family, planning all the family activities we'll do together (he's planning hiking trips for us!!!), he's even excited about helping teach our son school lessons!!! Its amazing! I'm getting everything I could have dreamed of and sometimes more! Thank you God!!!

What I see in David as a spouse, partner, lover, and friend illustrates in my mind how I feel marriage should be according to God, and why without these important characteristics its obvious people have the common problems we all hear about in marriages, among a few others I'll list from my personal observation over years of relationship issues, way too many "relationship books" that I read for fun, and of course, my own marriage.

I think the ultimate foundation for a marriage (besides God, of course), is one's approach and attitude toward marriage and your spouse... way before you're even engaged. David has done well bringing a mature, Godly attitude into the open for me and demonstrating it in himself. See, both of us, without knowing the other felt this way first, believed that in a relationship the guy and girl should each be a whole person on their own. That they weren't looking to be completed by someone, or a relationship. That neither person was depending on the other to fill in gaps or dissatisfaction's in life. We both believed that when you're committing to a person to marry, you're committing to serving that person, doing everything in that person's best interest, not fulfilling yourself. If both people are committed to this attitude, there isn't room to worry about yourself and if you're getting "enough" of anything. Too many people, and even in our marriage class, talk about who should get what out of the marriage. I know there is a place for this discussion. It does help a wife to have an idea of what pleases a man emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, socially, and physically, and vice versa (which will bring me to some personal observations in a moment*), however, no matter whether your spouse is always fulfilling his God-given role to you, you are still responsible for fulfilling your God-given role to him because ultimately, we answer to God individually, and He will judge us for how we behaved in our lives, and our marriage is a huge part of our lives and where we have the most opportunity to demonstrate our commitment first to God. I give David a lot of credit for being the first to state (while we were engaged) that he believed his ultimate duty and personal goal is to serve me. No matter what I do, he still has to live with me in an understanding way and fulfill his God-given role as husband. Throughout these early stages of marriage, he has continued to put into practice this belief; which works to his advantage because I see his efforts and keeps fresh in my mind how I ought to treat him. Being good to one another comes easy when we're both working at it and acknowledging the other's efforts!!

Ok, so *personal observations regarding men vs. women needs. I've had some issues with the lists of "typical male preferences" lets call it, and "typical female preferences." These lists include everything from emotional to how we follow travel directions. They're CRAZY! in my opinion. Here's why:

Example 1. Women go by landmarks, men go by street signs, etc.
SO not true in more than one relationship in my life. I have ALWAYS wanted street names, mileage, house numbers, cross streets, exit numbers!!! PLEASE do not bog down my thought process and cognitive map in progress, with trying to look for a barn with red shutters kind of back from the road almost to the street where you'll turn directly across from a giant chicken holding a bowl of rice... WHAT???!!!?? UGH! My hubby, and other men I know are all about looking for landmarks. I hate it. Which relates to the next example.

Example 2. Conversations - Women want this format: Details, feelings, problem. Men want Problem, facts, solution.
UHM! Not this chica! Please don't make my mind chase your dialogue all around the neighborhood of the issue. Tell me what you're talking about, stick to relevant details, lets solve this problem!!!! I know I'm not the only girl like this! Especially in the jobs I've had... people call in and give you WAY too much information and you spend 10 minutes trying to figure out what in the world this has to do with your job and why they think you should be able to fix anything that they see as broken.

Example 3. Women prefer cuddling and emotional support and would be fine if that's all the further they ever went. OH NO baby! Man, if we've been cuddling for like 5-20 minutes and nothing else happens, I start feeling frantic and wondering if this is EVER going ANYWHERE... lets get to the party already! You know what I'm saying? This issue when discussed in class actually makes me REALLY MAD. Most men spend forever talking about how they need more action at home and want women to really understand that... What am I supposed to do? Speak up and sound like a brazen tiger? See, women are never given the floor to express carnal desires if they have them (at least not in these settings I've witnessed), and believe me, I know other women who have them ;-)

Example 4 and final (for now ;-) ) Keeping up appearances. Men have also spent a lot of time talking about how important it is for the little wife to look even when just keeping the home and not going out anywhere. I have more to say about this, but do men think women don't care what their men look like? Pretty sure we do. Did our guys pick us up for dates back in the day in baggy sweatpants, or no pants, and expect us to fall madly in love with them? Dress it up guys! Our eyes still work too ;-)

So, all four of these examples, and there are more, are "truths" I grew up with. My dad preached this way of thinking, other men from pulpits, in Bible studies, and other formal and informal groups, pretty much every relationship book I've ever read espouses these "truths", so I went with it. Even though I knew many things supposedly "true" about "all" women were not true about me, I went ahead and assumed these things would be true about all men I encountered. After all, they seemed pretty true for all the men in my family I know well enough to know these types of things about them.

HOWEVER!!!! Believing these "truths" and trying to apply them to my behaviors towards men with whom I dated and then the man I married (at a much greater level once married), caused some big problems. Some guys just are not going to be like "every guy" is said to be. My man likes landmarks, my man likes to cuddle, my man seriously does not care how I look around the house and thinks its stupid that so many men talk about it like its a big deal; he "prefers me to be comfortable" (which, if he cared, it would be lucky for him that I still "try").  I wanted to say something to this effect in class while we were on this subject because it went along with communication. If we assume our partner is going to fit into these neat, tight little stereotypes 100% of the time, we're in for trouble. We need to each get to know our particular partner for WHO THEY ARE, not what tons of books and "experts" say they are. We could save a lot of agony from misunderstandings based on misrepresentations of our spouses. When I finally figured out David just was not like other guys (Praise the LORD!), and he could know more of my tastes and preferences, we could talk/relate on each other's level. Life just works when you know people for who they are, not what the stereotype says they should be.

Am I making sense? Can you all read me loud and clear?

I mean look:

David thinks this is beautiful! My BIG 'OLE prego belly is beautiful to my hubs :-) I totally was loving feeling and watching my son move, but the rest of me was feeling pretty crummy... pretty close, but not quite to my worst. He's just the best ;-)

Ok, those are my most recent thoughts on marriage ;-) Besides loving mine and all!

Still to come... how we spent of 4th of July... food updates... prenatal appointment issues... fun!

Best,

M~